We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
The beers last night were like the tears from god
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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