I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
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