I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
