why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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