is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
