In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
