Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
We have started to decorate penises.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
