Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize