they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
