I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
