The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
