So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
