Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Randomize
