Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
