i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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