I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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