You smell like stripper and shame
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
