You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
