And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
