Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
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