Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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