Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I think my fart just growled at me.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
