the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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