Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
