Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize