Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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