So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
