either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
