Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
