this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
So squirting runs in the family.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
