I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
