I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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