But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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