its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
