I CAN MOONWALK!
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
