I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
