Porn is love you can see.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
