He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
