is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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