I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
