in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
