All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
