vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
