im about as happy as oj after his trial
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
