walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
