dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You are the jesus of drinking
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
