people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
