yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize