Just mADE A PArabola og urine
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Threesome in a minivan. New low
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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