Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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