May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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