You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Randomize
