you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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