super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
