Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
