your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
