youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
