My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
