Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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