I hate your face
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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