After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
