Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
So apparently I’m into choking now
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
