I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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